I Can’t Live With You Anymore

I wrote a letter left it on the door
You went and changed the locks
Do I live here anymore

And I pay my bills
Changed the will
Living the divorced life
I can’t live without a wife

Kids are changing schools
You make up the rules
with your dime store book advice

I can’t live
With you anymore.

With broken vows
nights out on the town
You went and left it all
Are you the same anymore

The young guys tell you
‘What you doing here’
I’d sleep with you tonight

Tomorrow your age
wrinkles on the stage
of celebrity from the night before

If You’re Not Careful

Some people ask me how many drinks does it take
To write those songs, songs that you make
And I tell them I don’t know

So just stop asking cause when i’m talking to you
I’ve probably already had a few
and if  you aint careful
the next song
will be about you

Sometimes I Feel So Sad

Update:  This song has been included on the new Bear and Porch CD. To listen to it, or (soon) purchase it, please visit music.killfly.com

Sometimes I feel so sad
‘Bout the girlfriend
That I don’t have
Sitting home alone again
I want one by my side
A woman through the night
Sometimes I feel it so strong

And then my friend calls me
Bout the troubles he has had
And suddenly
I don’t feel so bad

She aint ever mean
smells so nice and clean
always wakes up with a smile

Ice skating in the snow
Taking off those winter clothes
Making love by the fire

Put on a sexy dress
Your makeup is a mess
Because we’re kissing in the rain

Buying you new clothes
Manicures and pretty toes
That shade sure looks good on you


She tells me she loves me
Want to meet her family
Watch the sunset on the beach

My thoughts all pretty things
Churchbells and wedding rings
Two kids and a house

Listen To it Now:

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I Need a Stiff Drink

(written by Chris Poirier and Andrew Beardsley)

Had a beer, just aint feeling right
Wont get me in jail, get me in a fight
Wont make me fall asleep somewhere I don’t know
Wake up in the morning Wearing all my clothes

How Many, How many have you had
How Many, Still Feeling Sad
I need a Stiff Drink
I need a Stiff Drink
I need a Stiff Drink Tonight

Ordered another Draft , Put It on my tab
Won’t end up throwing up or Hailing a Cab
Won’t make me grab the microphone or Start to Dance
Won’t Make me ask her If I Have a Chance


Hey Bartender, I’ll Have another Pint
Sure as hell Wont, Get Shut Off Tonight
Won’t End Up Yelling, “The Bouncer is a Jerk”
Won’t End up Sleeping In and Calling in to Work


Another Round of Pitchers for me and my Friends
We’ll be here all Night Long, Till The End
Won’t End Up On The Steps Talking to a Girl so Fine
Won’t Buy her friends a Shot or a Bottle of Wine


Listen To It right now!:

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And the original version recorded the night it was written:

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Waiting For You


I can’t Sleep

In this bed

Wait for a woman

She’s in my head

Perfect soul

Wait for me

I will wait

G           C
For eternity

F               G        C
I am the lonely Man


Restless nights

I toss and turn

Fans do nothin’

To ease the burden

my country girl

long brown hair

I’ll wait for you

If you still care



F               G        C
I am the lonely man

F               G         C
I am the lonely man

I’ll wait for you

Wait for me if you can

G                        C
I am the lonely man


I walk to the yard

And I look to the night

I can see you

Up in the sky

I still think of you

Every night

I still see you

In moonlight




F               G        C
I am the lonely Man

F               G        C
I am the lonely Man

Eastern Wind

While I’m at it, I might as well post another song that I made with the orchestra plugin. This one was supposed to have a middle-eastern sound to it, but also have a nice driving drum beat. The actual beat of the drums is pretty close to what I had in mind, but the samples themselves aren’t what I have in my head. One day I’ll get around to making this sound the way I want.

One of the problems is that my PC can’t handle all the plugins at the same time.  For some reason, the bass (which is actually a guitar emulator) takes up HUGE amounts of resources.  What this boiled down to was that I could never listen to the song in the software, I had to mute some tracks to be able to listen to something, then unmute, render to MP3, and listen to the MP3 to see if the change I made sounded good.  Very annoying to say the least!

Eastern Wind MP3

Piano Song

I never posted this song up here, but I tend to want to listen to it sometimes, so I thought a nice easy way to get to it would be nice (FTP is annoying sometimes).  Basically, this is a song I wrote to play with a new orchestra plugin that I bought.  I wish I had the time and the skill to do some longer / better stuff, but I still like this:

Anyway, here’s the link:

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Behringer B5 Disassembly

My Behringer B-5 microphone started making some weird thumping noises recently. After doing some cable swapping, and creative hookups between my preamp and a pair of headphones, I became 90% sure that it was the microphone making these weird noises. Also, the noises seem to be intermittent, so my guess is that maybe one of the capacitors inside the microphone is making the noise in the signal after it heats up? I don’t know, I’m not an electrical engineer. Also, after taking the microphone apart myself, I discovered that if you’re not an electrical engineer, there will be no reason for you to open this thing up. Anyway, if you’re reading this, you have an unhealthy desire to take your B5 apart for some reason, so let’s go…

First the tools that you WILL NOT need. I discovered this through my adventure:

  • Pipe Cutter
  • Dewalt cordless drill and bits
  • Bench Vice (to hold the microphone while you attempt to drill it)

The tools you will need:

  • Something to loosen the retainer clip (that’s what I call it). I’m sure there is an official tool that can into the little cutouts on the ring, but what I used was a pair of slip-joint pliers.

Your microphone should look like this (http://photo.killfly.com/displayimage.php?album=77&pos=0) if it does not, you do not have a Behringer B5, and these instructions will not be of much help to you. Also, the image of mine has a deep gouge on the XLR end. Yours will not have this because mine is actually in two pieces. The picture was taken after my first disassembly in which I cut off the end with a pipe cutter thinking that I needed to free up the screw at that end. It turns out that the screw that is under the decal near the XLR connector does not need to be removed. (I also attempted to drill out the screw in a fit of disassembly rage).

Take off the cardoid or omnidirectional capsule, whichever is on there, and you will be presented with something like the following: http://photo.killfly.com/displayimage.php?album=77&pos=1. See the threads that are now exposed? At the tip of the threads (also visible in the picture) you can see two cutouts. This is where you should probably use a special tool to get into those cutouts, and be able to unthread this ring. The ring is actually what’s holding the contents of the microphone into the case.

Unscrew the ring: http://photo.killfly.com/displayimage.php?album=77&pos=2 (I’m using my fingers in the picture, but in reality I had to loosen it with a pair of slip-joint pliers.) One thing to note, there are two holes in the top of the microphone that look like they’re custom made for being able to unscrew the tip. This is not what you’re looking to do, you want to actually unscrew the threads themselves.

The desired result is better explained by seeing all the pieces together in a picture (or two):

In this picture you can see the case, the ring, and the capsule in the top, and the guts of the microphone in the bottom of the picture. In order to remove the guts, you’ll have to push down on the attenuation selector switch to be able to get it past the cutout on the case. When you pull out the gut, it will come out on a sled. You want to pull it out straight, because there’s a key that the XLR connector preventing it from twisting. Both halves of the key are visible in these two shot

Now that you have the sled out, you can see the contents of the microphone. If, like me, you were hoping to see a wire that might be loose, and that you could fix, you will be sorely disappointed. But it’s still kinda neat. Feel free to check out all the pics over at the photo site: http://photo.killfly.com/thumbnails.php?album=77

Ode to Guinness

…Work in progress, currently only the chorus:

Have a Guinness on me my friend,
Drink it fast or slow,
Finest stuff that’ll touch your lips,
This I know for sure
And if you’ve had quite a few
You’ll be bangiiinnnnn…[slow down then pause]
Doors down all around town
Jus’ ta have some more.


[Last Chorus]
Have a Guinness on me my friend,
Drink it fast or slow,
Finest stuff that’ll touch your lips,
This I know for sure
And if you’ve had quite a few
You’ll be bangin whores’
Doors down all around town
Just to have some more

Frank Caprio Wants to Rule the Universe

Today some of my friends and I noticed that the Frank Caprio namebrand seems to be everywhere. Whether it’s his huge picture on State websites, or his own CaprioTV, it appears the eventual plan is for world domination.

Having seen too many Simpsons and Family Guy episodes, we have a sense of humor and started imagining all the different plans for thr future he must have, like

  • Caprio IV – A deep space probe to broadcast his message to potential voters in the Galaxy.
  • Martians For Caprio!
  • 2008! Caprio for President of the Moon!

We also noticed that his CaprioTV website has a “Thank you” movie in it with an interesting choice of music. It sounds like the end to the Lord of the Rings or something. Way to epic for a “thank you for electing me treasurer” webcast movie. Soooooo….we then thought how funny it would be to make a parody of the movie using the ideas mentioned above. On the drive home I started thinking what the soundtrack might sound like.

This is the first draft of what I wrote when I got home. This is also a test of a cool new embedded MP3 player that works right inside of WordPress. Click the little blue “play” icon to play the mp3, or right-click the link and choose “save as” if you really want to save this MP3 (not sure why you would).

– Frank Caprio World Domination.mp3