Frank Caprio Wants to Rule the Universe

Today some of my friends and I noticed that the Frank Caprio namebrand seems to be everywhere. Whether it’s his huge picture on State websites, or his own CaprioTV, it appears the eventual plan is for world domination.

Having seen too many Simpsons and Family Guy episodes, we have a sense of humor and started imagining all the different plans for thr future he must have, like

  • Caprio IV – A deep space probe to broadcast his message to potential voters in the Galaxy.
  • Martians For Caprio!
  • 2008! Caprio for President of the Moon!

We also noticed that his CaprioTV website has a “Thank you” movie in it with an interesting choice of music. It sounds like the end to the Lord of the Rings or something. Way to epic for a “thank you for electing me treasurer” webcast movie. Soooooo….we then thought how funny it would be to make a parody of the movie using the ideas mentioned above. On the drive home I started thinking what the soundtrack might sound like.

This is the first draft of what I wrote when I got home. This is also a test of a cool new embedded MP3 player that works right inside of WordPress. Click the little blue “play” icon to play the mp3, or right-click the link and choose “save as” if you really want to save this MP3 (not sure why you would).

– Frank Caprio World Domination.mp3

I Wish I Had a Camera

I can think of two times that I wish I had a camera, or at least that someone had taken a picture of me.

The first is the time I wanted to see how fast I could run. I ran alongside a car while the driver kept pace with me tracking my speed. I started slow but quickly built speed until my legs were a blur of supernatural running power. Somewhere around thirty-five miles per hour on the car’s speedometer (I’m pretty sure I remember that speed correctly), I disappeared from the driver’s view.

“You were right there…and then you were gone.” said the driver, “I looked into the rearview mirror and saw you behind the car.”

What the driver saw is what I wish I had a picture of; my body rolling and bouncing down the road. I had attempted to slow down and ended up locking my knee by accident which caused me to “spin out of control”. I landed on the pavement hard, rolled a few times, and eventually came to a sliding stop, which is where most of the damage to my skin came from. Don’t worry, nothing permanent.

Why do I wish there was a picture? Because that must have been one of the funniest things in the world to see…and i didn’t get to see it. I can only hope that someone saw it from their house and now has an awesome story to tell about the “day they saw this dumbass roll down the road.” I know we tell that story at least once a month in my house because it’s always good for a laugh, but if we had pictures it would be so much better.

What’s the second time I wish I had a camera? I’m not going to tell you because it doesn’t sound nearly as funny as the story I just told. I’m going to ammend my answer, I can think of only one time I wish I had a camera, but I’m sure there’s more.