Behringer B5 Disassembly

Dec 182007

My Behringer B-5 microphone started making some weird thumping noises recently. After doing some cable swapping, and creative hookups between my preamp and a pair of headphones, I became 90% sure that it was the microphone making these weird noises. Also, the noises seem to be intermittent, so my guess is that maybe one of the capacitors inside the microphone is making the noise in the signal after it heats up? I don’t know, I’m not an electrical engineer. Also, after taking the microphone apart myself, I discovered that if you’re not an electrical engineer, there will be no reason for you to open this thing up. Anyway, if you’re reading this, you have an unhealthy desire to take your B5 apart for some reason, so let’s go…

First the tools that you WILL NOT need. I discovered this through my adventure:

Pipe Cutter
Dewalt cordless drill and bits
Bench Vice (to hold the microphone while you attempt to drill it)

The tools you will need:

Something to loosen the retainer clip (that’s what I call it). I’m sure there is an official tool that can into the little cutouts on the ring, but what I used was a pair of slip-joint pliers.

Your microphone should look like this (http://photo.killfly.com/displayimage.php?album=77&pos=0) if it does not, you do not have a Behringer B5, and these instructions will not be of much help to you. Also, the image of mine has a deep gouge on the XLR end. Yours will not have this because mine is actually in two pieces. The picture was taken after my first disassembly in which I cut off the end with a pipe cutter thinking that I needed to free up the screw at that end. It turns out that the screw that is under the decal near the XLR connector does not need to be removed. (I also attempted to drill out the screw in a fit of disassembly rage).

Take off the cardoid or omnidirectional capsule, whichever is on there, and you will be presented with something like the following: http://photo.killfly.com/displayimage.php?album=77&pos=1. See the threads that are now exposed? At the tip of the threads (also visible in the picture) you can see two cutouts. This is where you should probably use a special tool to get into those cutouts, and be able to unthread this ring. The ring is actually what’s holding the contents of the microphone into the case.

Unscrew the ring: http://photo.killfly.com/displayimage.php?album=77&pos=2 (I’m using my fingers in the picture, but in reality I had to loosen it with a pair of slip-joint pliers.) One thing to note, there are two holes in the top of the microphone that look like they’re custom made for being able to unscrew the tip. This is not what you’re looking to do, you want to actually unscrew the threads themselves.

The desired result is better explained by seeing all the pieces together in a picture (or two):

In this picture you can see the case, the ring, and the capsule in the top, and the guts of the microphone in the bottom of the picture. In order to remove the guts, you’ll have to push down on the attenuation selector switch to be able to get it past the cutout on the case. When you pull out the gut, it will come out on a sled. You want to pull it out straight, because there’s a key that the XLR connector preventing it from twisting. Both halves of the key are visible in these two shot

Now that you have the sled out, you can see the contents of the microphone. If, like me, you were hoping to see a wire that might be loose, and that you could fix, you will be sorely disappointed. But it’s still kinda neat. Feel free to check out all the pics over at the photo site: http://photo.killfly.com/thumbnails.php?album=77

Ode to Guinness

Music, Poetry, Writing No Responses »

Sep 062007

…Work in progress, currently only the chorus:

[Chorus]
Have a Guinness on me my friend,
Drink it fast or slow,
Finest stuff that’ll touch your lips,
This I know for sure
And if you’ve had quite a few
You’ll be bangiiinnnnn…[slow down then pause]
Doors down all around town
Jus’ ta have some more.

[Last Chorus]
Have a Guinness on me my friend,
Drink it fast or slow,
Finest stuff that’ll touch your lips,
This I know for sure
And if you’ve had quite a few
You’ll be bangin whores’
Doors down all around town
Just to have some more

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Jun 022007

Journal from the 2007 (Northbound) Betty Ann Boat Delivery

Life, Writing No Responses »

May 292007

Introduction

This is the journal from my experience on the Betty Ann sailboat during a delivery from Annapolis, Maryland to Point Judith, Rhode Island. This would be my first of many trips aboard this fine vessel. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did living (and writing) it!

After reading (or during, whatever your preference), make sure to view the pictures of this trip over at photo.killfly.com! There are also some pictures of a more recent southbound delivery, which are even geotagged, a new feature I was trying out.

Eventually, I’ll get my pictures of yet another northbound delivery, this one from Tampa, Florida to Charlestown, South Carolina. We had a stopover in Key West, which was, obviously, one of the highlights of the trip.

So grab a glass of your favorite beverage, light a fire if it’s cold out, and prepare to go on an adventure with me and the crew of the Betty Ann…

Sunday, May 20th : 8:38 PM

Whew man, long day. Today started at 5:30am in Quonny, RI. I cautiously opened my eyes to reveal a day starting much darker than I’m used to. “What is this daylight savings?”, no, just dawn AM, or the butt crack of morning, whatever you want to call it. No one cares about this part of the trip so I’ll just get right to the point so we can get to the good stuff:

Drive to George’s house
Park dad’s truck and Jerry’s car at some logger’s log storage area (what else would be in a logger’s storage area?)
All pile into George’s car with his wife Maime.
Get to KPVD, and unload the bags. The frozen Italian Country Chicken dinner made it through the x-ray scanner ok. This was slightly surprising, we expected to be asked at least a couple questions about it.
Dad got the full security scan because of his steel hip parts. “I’m sorry sir, but you’re going to have to leave your hip here, I can’t let it on the plane.”
Land at BWI, and all pile in Eric’s explorer and head for the marina where the Betty Ann is waiting for us.
We sat down for some breakfast and Archie joined us. His breakfast turned out to be the best, the Crème Brulee comes highly recommended.
Say goodbye to Eric who looked like he really wanted to come with us.
Shove off into the Chesapeake.

Ok, now we’re getting to some boat talk, after all that’s why you’re reading this right? Let’s back up a little bit to breakfast. We all watched in detached pleasure (pleasure because it wasn’t us) as a sailboat attempted to depart its slip only to realize that the turn was too tight, and they weren’t ready for the wind that was going to blow them down towards the pier wall. I bet the wish they had a bow thruster (we do, ha ha ha). After watching the mini-drama unfold we took our first crew-vote on what to do today. There were two options:

Leave tomorrow morning, and go visit the surrounding area.
Leave right now.

We all chose option 2, let’s go sail!

Frank Caprio Wants to Rule the Universe

Humor, Music 1 Response »

Mar 212007

Today some of my friends and I noticed that the Frank Caprio namebrand seems to be everywhere. Whether it’s his huge picture on State websites, or his own CaprioTV, it appears the eventual plan is for world domination.

Having seen too many Simpsons and Family Guy episodes, we have a sense of humor and started imagining all the different plans for thr future he must have, like

Caprio IV – A deep space probe to broadcast his message to potential voters in the Galaxy.
Martians For Caprio!
2008! Caprio for President of the Moon!

We also noticed that his CaprioTV website has a “Thank you” movie in it with an interesting choice of music. It sounds like the end to the Lord of the Rings or something. Way to epic for a “thank you for electing me treasurer” webcast movie. Soooooo….we then thought how funny it would be to make a parody of the movie using the ideas mentioned above. On the drive home I started thinking what the soundtrack might sound like.

This is the first draft of what I wrote when I got home. This is also a test of a cool new embedded MP3 player that works right inside of WordPress. Click the little blue “play” icon to play the mp3, or right-click the link and choose “save as” if you really want to save this MP3 (not sure why you would).

– Frank Caprio World Domination.mp3

A New Song – Piano Test

Music No Responses »

Oct 232006

Wow! What a creative title Andrew…where did you ever think of “Piano Test”? Yeah whatever, that’s what this was, a test of a keyboard that I’m borrowing from a cousin.

What is it? 35 seconds of a bass and organ playing together. It’s yet another “proof of concept” song that is completely useless.

Here’s the file (now in mp3 format instead of ogg):

————————————————————-

::FileDeleted::

After listening to it again I decided that this sucked too much to waste space on my hosting plan for it.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

———————————————————–

Talk or Walk

Poetry 3 Responses »

Dec 302005

I’m not much for conversation.
The smalltalk in our lives.
I’m waiting for something special;
whenever it arrives.

Standing straight and watching
Spoken words go flying by.
Concentration blurs, and eyes drift off,
My ears have said goodbye

Waiting on my own two feet,
With patience gazing far.
I close my eyes, and breathing deep
I fly out to the stars.

Wishful thinking of our youth;
It’s so easy to forget.
Waiting on the stairs of life
Remorse and fear, regret.

Is there reason in the world?
Is there a joker in my hand?
Is there a reason to even try?
Should I even make a stand?

We punctuate our lives with work.
Does quality even matter?
From all I’ve seen it surely doesn’t,
At least that’s what I gather.

If no one cares or wants to try,
Then I’ll just pack and walk.
I’ll find a place inside this world,
Where I’m not afraid to talk.

Rowing into Fog

Creativity, Writing 2 Responses »

Dec 262005

Rowing into the fog, steady and sure, a captain steers his boat. To attempt such a thing, they said, would be crazy. The boat is too small, and the distance too long. Yet standing on the shore, they watch him leave.

Expressionless and stern, the rowboat captain dips the oars into the water and takes another stroke. He pulls hard and the boat rushes forward, gladly accepting the captain’s direction. Friends forever, the boat and man’s trust in each other is complete. One would never fail the other.

The shore is gone; enclosed in a shroud of fog they continue their journey.

“Trust is important.” The captain says to the boat. The boat agrees and accepts another pull of the oars. In fog there is no time, only gray suspense, and the sound of your motion.

A shore appears ahead, a black smudge in the gray. It becomes a beach and the captain takes the boat there. The beach is sand, not stone.

“This is better.” The captain says to the boat. The boat agrees and lets itself be pulled up onto the sand which feels better than the rocks of their old beach. The captain walks away and the rowboat waits for his return, it waits for their next journey into the fog.

On Religion

Life, Writing No Responses »

Dec 242005

A recent conversation at a coffee shop caused me to start thinking about religion, specifically mine. I’ve never been an ultra religious person, but sometimes you can’t avoid being asked the question. I ended up writing the text below at around 3 in the morning in order to answer the question more thoroughly for myself. And for anyone else who is interested….obviously.

—————————————————————————————
“So Andrew, what about you?” John asked.

“I guess I would have to say agnostic.” Andrew replied.
—————————————————————————————

Discussions on religion, like politics, are ones I tend to do my best to stay out of, partly because of their ability to so quickly divide a group. I realize that submitting a typed document on the subject is directly opposed to that behavior, but my answer has been bothering me and I think it needs clarification. Since I tend to write better than I speak, this seems like a good way to submit that clarification.

As I spoke aloud my original answer to John’s question, I felt like I lost standing in John’s eyes, and possibly Jane’s as well. This is certainly what bothers me about my response most, enough so that I had to get up out of bed and work out this explanation. I definitely feel like the answer I gave was incomplete, and that I need to fill in the gaps.

A better, but still incomplete answer to John’s question would have been to reply that I’m a non-practicing Congregationalist (Protestant). This is how someone else at the table responded to the question, although for a different faith. Basically, Congregationalism has as a defining characteristic no select Priesthood; the Ministers and Deacons are “leaders in a community of equals” ¹. This is the religion I was taught and baptized as a child; I just haven’t been to the church in a while except for the occasional wedding or funeral, thankfully more of the former than the latter. In fact, as is obvious from the footnote above, I had to do some research just to make sure I had the correct definition of Congregationalist.

In order to begin my search for more information, I first need to see exactly what it is I said in my original answer to John’s question. My first stop was a few Google searches, the first of which led me to a page defining agnostic as:

An agnostic thinks it impossible to know the truth in matters such as God and the future life with which Christianity and other religions are concerned. Or, if not impossible, at least impossible at the present time. ²

I agree with those two sentences. Actually, after reading that entire page it turns out that I agree with a lot of what is said. However, that’s just one person’s view on agnostic beliefs.

I suppose that’s what bothered me a little about my original answer, the fact that I was compelled to place beliefs after agnostic in that last sentence. Also, agnostic seems to carry with it a negative connotation, which is why I felt like I had lost some standing in both John and Jane’s eyes. Being labeled agnostic by my own answer to a question, I begin to feel constrained already by the limits of a definition.

One day I took one of those “See what religion you should be” tests. One of the religions that came to the top of the list was Buddhism. Another Google search led me to the Friends of the Western Buddhist Order web site where they offer a definition of Buddhism as:

Buddhism is a path of practice and spiritual development leading to Insight into the true nature of life. Buddhist practices such as meditation are means of changing oneself in order to develop the qualities of awareness, kindness, and wisdom. ³

Another definition I can agree with. Who can deny that awareness, kindness and wisdom are things that we should strive for? However, I again run into the same problem of feeling constrained by the boundaries of one particular system. Why should we have to force ourselves into one definition when most religions contain things we believe anyway? I have a feeling I could probably continue this exercise of investigating different religions and find that I agree with a lot of what is said, but there may always be a few things here and there that make me take pause.

I suppose the conclusion I’m starting to arrive at is that I have no answer for the question “What is your religion?” because I shy away from anything labeled as such. I definitely have a personal set of beliefs and principles that I try to follow to the best of my ability, but I cannot say that they all belong to one religion. So the real answer to John’s question is that I have no answer, and yes, I realize that that’s a lousy answer.

Footnotes:
1)
http://www.haverfordwest.freeserve.co.uk/cfwales/beliefs.html

2)
http://humanum.arts.cuhk.edu.hk/humftp/E-text/Russell/agnostic.htm

3)
http://www.fwbo.org/buddhism.html